Stars and Boulevards
by Invisible Kat
Summary: Maya Matlin, now 21, is working as a waitress at all the fancy parties in Los Angeles. Having given up on her music and never the same after her terrible loss years before, she sleepwalks through her own existence. But what happens when someone from the past returns just when she needs help the most? Maya/Cam. Rated to be safe. FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**Stars and Boulevards**

I don't own Degrassi.

After the recent suicide storyline, I just got flooded with plot bunnies, so I'm debating which ones to feed. This is another idea I had in mind, so I thought I'd give it a shot, but I'm slightly less excited about it than my others…oh well. Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 1**

Maya Matlin let her eyes open at the sound of the alarm buzzing next to her. With a sigh, she turned it off, sitting up in bed. She looked around at her bedroom, seeing shade over the furniture and walls. It was going to be another dreary day.

Pulling her long, curly blonde hair into a ponytail, Maya climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror, she raised an eyebrow slightly before popping in her contacts. She stared at her tired reflection, taking in the same details she did every morning for the past six years.

After fifteen, the rest of high school had sort of faded into oblivion as Maya had finished her time at Degrassi. Before fifteen, Maya had pled her case to her parents about art school, but her efforts had gone to waste. But it wasn't all bad in the end. She'd made good friends in Tori and Tristan. And she'd met _him._

Maya shook her head, dissolving the train of thought before it could go any further. She had a long day in Fairfax to deal with, and she did not want to start thinking of the friends she'd left behind in Canada or the person who'd left her behind in the largest sense of the word.

The routine was the same every morning. Wake up, brush teeth, put on crisp white shirt and black pants in preparation for whatever party she was working that day. Her final adornment, the hideous burgundy vest that she thought made her look like a bellhop, slipped over her shoulders and buttoned in front of her.

Maya measured her life in numbers. Seven years of practicing cello in anticipation of someday playing for a famous orchestra. One year at Degrassi to cement friendships and more. At fifteen, Maya Matlin had been happy. But what took years to build came crashing down in minutes with one desperate act by someone she held dear to her heart. Since that moment where she'd first heard the tragic news in the principal's office, everything had changed. Three years until she could leave the memories behind. Three years until graduation. And now, three years since she'd come to Los Angeles in search of the dream she once had to play music. If you were to tell fifteen-year-old Maya Matlin that, in six years, she would be twenty-one and working a thankless waitressing job in the neighborhoods of Los Angeles, she'd have scoffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief.

It had seemed like the best thing to do at the time. Her junior and senior years had been especially tough for her back home in Toronto. Junior year was the year the class of 2014 graduated, and someone was missing from the ceremony. And 2015, when her class graduated, someone was missing from the audience. Maya hadn't realized how much it hurt until she'd watched Tori embrace her boyfriend, a kind and gentle classmate that had befriended what was left of their little group the previous year. Maya had gone through the motions of the celebration parties, but with a final goodbye to her friends and family, had set off in search of a way to escape the past and reach for the future. And the lights and stars of Los Angeles seemed to be the best way to do both.

Maya turned her gaze to the clock and cursed herself silently. Now she was running late, and she would have to hear it from her boss. Every time she pulled herself away from her memories, something just kept pulling her back in.

After six years, it wasn't getting better. It was getting worse.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Degrassi**

**Chapter 2**

The apartment was dark as Maya walked in, tossing her keys onto the table by the door. She closed it behind her and just leaned her back against it for a moment. The day had been a long one, catering a party for a bunch of wealthy and drunk businessmen. She'd lost track of how many times she'd been pinched on the butt after the first round of cocktails.

With a sigh, she took off her coat and dropped it by the door. Slipping off her shoes, she walked into her small kitchen, heading for the refrigerator. As she turned on a light, she let her gaze fall on the apartment. It really wasn't anything special, particularly for Los Angeles. She'd never even bothered to give it a special touch or anything like that. It had been the first place she'd seen in her price range, and she'd signed the lease without a second thought. She just hadn't cared that much. It was one thing to be on the way to LA and have stars in your eyes, but as time had gone by, Maya had just lost all interest. At that point, with her dreams falling further behind her, it was just easier to stay in LA than go home to Canada and the sympathies and the whispers of "she's never recovered".

A few glasses of wine later, Maya lay down on her bed with a sigh. She'd certainly gone through her fair share of wine since coming to LA, usually sneaking whatever was left after each party until she was old enough to buy her own. On her worst nights, it was the only way to get any sleep. That night, she might've overdone it. Things were beginning to swim in front of her eyes and she closed them, putting a hand to her head.

"_Maya_," a distant and ghostly voice said, sounding almost like the wind that sometimes whistled through when she opened a window. Maya opened her eyes, sitting up a bit. "_Maya."_

"The hell?" Maya said, sitting up. She reached for the lamp next to her bed and accidently knocked over a set of magazines, sending them to the floor. "Damn it."

At that, she started to laugh foolishly, putting a hand over her mouth. She really had drunk too much. After a moment, still stifling her laughter, she turned on the lamp, looking down at the pile of magazines. Maya stopped laughing as she saw something poking out from one of them, something she couldn't remember having seen in years. Frowning, Maya picked up the photograph, looking at it. There, in all its sobering intensity, was the image of herself, fifteen and with mockingly high hopes for the future, with her arms around _him_ as he gave her a piggyback ride. The happy smiles on both of their faces would be jarring to even a clear head at that moment. Maya's chest began to heave and she opened her nightstand drawer, tossing the photo in and slamming it shut. Her stomach rumbled at that moment as the wine threatened to make its reappearance. A hand over her mouth, Maya ran to the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind her.

When it was over, Maya took deep breaths as she sat on the floor, leaning against the bathtub. She drew her legs up to her body and pushed her hair from her face, looking sadly at the tiles. Instantly sobered, Maya heard the voice in her head that she heard almost daily for six years; the voice that she tried to ignore by never saying the name. But after six years, she was getting tired of ignoring the fact that it was there. The walls were beginning to break, and she could only think of one thing, over and over.

_Cam_


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Degrassi**

**Chapter 3**

Maya lay in her bed, looking up at the ceiling the next day. She'd called out of work, citing an upset stomach as her reasoning. It wasn't a total lie, of course. She had thrown up a few more times as the night had progressed. Now, her head was pounding, but she didn't feel like getting up to remedy the situation.

It was a sunny day, she could tell, but she'd drawn the shades to cast the room in gray again. After the night she'd had, she didn't want to face the sun. Her whole body was heavy with exhaustion, and she turned over onto her stomach, reaching for her phone. For six years, she'd kept the message there just in case. She'd made sure that it survived, no matter what. Pressing play, she found herself looking at the face that haunted her dreams.

_"Good morning, Maya Matlin! I'm sorry I had to leave. Early morning hockey practice and I didn't want to wake you, you were drooling so cutely. So last night was pretty much the best night ever. Um, thank you for that. And also, I kidnapped Hoot! If you ever want to see your owl again, meet me on the steps at lunch and we will negotiate for his safe return! Muauahahaha!"_

It was astonishing how one simple video message could take her back so far. For a minute, she was back in that blissfully ignorant morning after their innocent sleepover in her warm house, mere hours before the unthinkable happened. Then, quickly as it had begun, she was back to twenty-one, stuck in some Los Angeles apartment. Suddenly, she felt something strong course through her veins and threw aside the covers, getting out of bed despite the headache.

A few hours later, Maya was driving through Los Angeles. It was kind of amusing to her that, even after three years, it still wasn't home. But then, neither was Canada. She wasn't sure where home was. Six years ago, she had an idea of where home was. Six years ago, she envisioned playing in the New York Philharmonic. She'd live in the Upper East Side in a penthouse with a breathtaking view to share when the NHL was in its off-season.

By the time the sun was beginning to set, Maya found herself pulling up to a bar in the Hills. She knew what they said about people who drank alone, but whatever. In a more risqué version of an outfit reminiscent of her Whisperhug days, Maya was ready for a night of forgetting. Walking in, she brandished her ID to the bartender, ordered herself a martini, and stationed at a table to watch for targets.

"Maya Matlin," a voice said. Maya turned to see a dark-haired man standing beside her table, recognition in his eyes. He was certainly a handsome face, with blue eyes that scanned her carefully and a dusting of freckles over his nose. He was taller than her, but not by much. Oddly, he was kind of short for a guy, but he was fairly well built. She could see muscles under his black T-shirt. But what got her the most was the look on his face. She could not place him, but he seemed to know her. Maybe he'd been a dalliance of hers from a night she couldn't remember. "You don't recognize me, do you?"

Maya just gave a nonchalant one-shouldered shrug, and the handsome stranger laughed. "It's me. Adam."

At that, Maya's smile dropped from her face, replaced by a look of shock.

"Adam Torres?" she said. Adam grinned, flashing a set of pearly white teeth. "Wow, you're really hot."

"Thanks," Adam said with that triumphant grin. "I sure as hell didn't expect to see you in LA."

"Likewise," Maya said. "What are you doing here?"

"I came out here after graduation for the procedure and decided I liked it," Adam said. "Warm weather, rock n' roll, hot girls in bikinis."

Maya gave a short chuckle. "I guess you're past the whole Whisperhug days."

"Yeah, I actually got this gig fronting a new band," Adam said. "Their bass player dropped out before a big performance awhile back, and they liked me, so I stuck around."

"Funny how I've never seen you before," Maya said.

"LA's a big city," Adam said. He paused. "So…are you still playing?"

"Haven't played in awhile," Maya said. "Why?"

"Just asking," Adam said. Maya nodded, and a silence fell over them for a moment.

"This place is tired," Maya said after a moment. She got up, grabbing her leather jacket. "Coming with?"

Moments later, Maya and Adam were on the street, standing isolated from the party scene. Maya reached into her jacket, taking out a cigarette and lighter. Adam watched as she put the cigarette between her lips and lit it.

"You smoke?" Adam said. Maya took the cigarette from her mouth, blowing smoke into the air.

"You want one?" she asked.

"Nah," Adam said. "You know those things'll kill you, right?"

"I'd heard something about that," Maya said, taking another drag. Adam just watched her, shaking his head slightly. "So, how's Becky?"

"Married with two kids," Adam said. "She and I kinda lost touch after graduation."

"Huh," Maya said. "I always thought you two would be endgame."

"Funny how life works out sometimes," Adam said. "I'd say we're both past Degrassi and Whisperhug."

Adam leaned against the wall of a nearby building, crossing his arms over his chest. Maya just looked at him, dropping the remains of her cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.

"Now what?" she said. Adam just looked at her, shrugging lightly.

"Lunar Impact's got a gig tomorrow night," he said. Maya looked confused. "My band. We're playing in the Hills tomorrow. Maybe my vocals could use a rest if you think you're up for it."

Maya looked at him for a moment, considering his offer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

She'd felt the nerves before, but she told herself it was only natural. Maya was no stranger to performing in front of a crowd, but tonight it felt different.

"Hey," a voice said behind her. Maya turned to see a dark-haired man walk up to her, his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"What are you doing back here?" she asked with a smile. He grinned as well, a smile that reflected in his brown eyes.

"Well, I was hoping for an autograph," he said. Maya chuckled, hitting him lightly on the arm. "Oh, by the way, some guy outside told me to give this to the very beautiful lead singer."

The man reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. Maya smiled again, taking the box and opening it up. There, resting in the middle, was a silver charm in the shape of a microphone. Putting a hand to her heart, Maya looked at the man.

"I told you I'd get you a new one every time you played a gig," he said, taking the charm from the box. Looking touched, Maya took off her bracelet, giving it to him. He attached the new charm, adding it to a collection of five others. "We may have to branch into a necklace soon if you get more famous."

"Thank you, Cam, it's beautiful," Maya said. He grinned and pulled her into a kiss. When they separated, he looked past her to see the stagehand gesturing in their direction.

"Ah, that's your cue, M," he said. He looked back at her. "Remember, keep your head up and your stick on the ice. Oh, and don't forget our flight leaves pretty early tomorrow. They want me in Minnesota by noon for practice."

"I will see you after the show then, Superstar," Maya said, putting her arms around his neck and drawing him into another kiss. With that, Cam went to join the audience, front row as usual.

Leaving her daydream, Maya was only mildly aware of the sounds in the club as she looked around from backstage. Much to her chagrin, as she'd gotten ready for the show, she'd come across her old charm bracelet with its single charm. If things were different, she would be getting a new one tonight. But the first charm would be the only one. Her nerves were already well on their way to being shot, and the impromptu slip into her fantasy world didn't help.

Nearby, Adam was practicing a few chords on the bass, trying to find the right melody. Maya wasn't entirely sure why she'd accepted the offer to front the band for that gig. She had just given Adam a nonchalant reply, not really putting much thought into what it entailed, but now that she stood on the precipice of her performance, she felt the nerves begin to crawl through her body. She'd performed so many times, but it was different with the cello. She could channel her emotions into the music and only those perceptive enough could read her thoughts from the melody of the instrument. But if she sang…she was putting everything out there in a chorus of predetermined words. She couldn't hide behind the cello if she sang lead vocals. Not to mention, the last time she'd actually sang lead vocals had been at a Battle of the Bands back before everything had gone to hell. And the song she'd sang had had another purpose. She'd wanted to get a message out there to someone who didn't exist anymore. All of these feelings seemed to surface, once again at the worst possible time, and she turned around, ready to bail on the whole thing. Before she could go anywhere, Adam cut her off, putting his hands on her upper arms.

"Whoa, where ya going?" he asked. "Gig's not over, Mats."

"I know, but I can't do it," Maya said. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just-."

"Maya, listen," Adam said, looking her in the eyes. "I know what this is about. As much as we try to leave the past behind, we can't ever completely lose it. I remember that concert, Maya. I may not've been there to hear the song, but I know about it."

"So you get it then," Maya said. "Fine. I can't go out there."

"You can do this," Adam said. "This life you're living now…do you really think this is what he'd want for you? Do you think he'd want to see you in some dead-end job sleepwalking through life while your cello collects dust in the closet?"

"Don't talk about him," Maya said. "You didn't even know him."

"Doesn't matter," Adam said. "Everybody seems to forget that I was there too. I was part of the band and part of Degrassi. We were all hurting when we lost him, okay? It doesn't matter who knew who for how long or how well. I may not have been friends with him, but I saw the way he looked at you when he came to our practices. I know he would want to see you out there. He'd want to see you take back your dream of playing music. And you know what, Maya Matlin? I'm offering you a chance to get back on that track. Might wanna take it."

Adam took his hands off her arms, looking at her for a moment longer. After a beat, he turned and walked back to his guitar. Maya stood where she was, processing everything. Her mind felt like a shaken snow globe of emotions. In her old days, she'd just channel those feelings into a musical piece, but she wasn't sure if she could do that now. She'd let so much of her past go that she wasn't sure if she could take any of it back. And even if she could, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it.

The stage was there, ready for her to take the leap. Taking a deep breath, Maya followed as Adam and the others took their places on the stage. From his spot on bass, Adam gestured to her to introduce them.

"Thank you for coming out tonight," Maya said. "We're Lunar Impact!"

With that, Maya closed her eyes as the intro to the song began. Suddenly, she was back onstage at Little Miss Steaks, singing karaoke with Cam and releasing his fears of singing in public. She was back at the Battle of the Bands, singing her message to Cam to forgive her and that he was the one she always wanted. Every time she sang, it had been for Cam. And now, tonight would be no different.

Adam's bass playing, the drumming, and the guitar accompanied Maya's vocals well as she sang the band's cover of Tom Petty's "Learning to Fly". (A/N: I'm sorry I went with a cover, I suck so bad at writing songs). When she opened her eyes, Maya could see the approval of the audience as they bopped along to the music. She could also see a couple of guys busy checking her out, but she ignored them. It just felt amazing to be onstage, even if she was singing a song that wasn't hers or the band's. The song came to an end, and the audience began to cheer. Maya took a deep breath, letting out a sigh of delight at the reception. She grinned at Adam, who gave her a thumbs up. When she looked back in the audience, her smile faded as she locked eyes with someone who should've been there, but shouldn't have at the same time. There, in his Ice Hounds jacket, sweatshirt, and jeans, was Cam, forever sixteen. Maya drew a sharp breath as she stared. He just smiled at her before fading away, right in front of her eyes.

_Thanks for the reviews! Hopefully the next chapter will be up tomorrow. Again, my apologies for not writing a song. Believe me when I say I've tried it before and it was disastrous. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I only own my characters**

**Chapter 5**

Maya was curled up on her couch, her knees drawn up to her chest as she stared into the darkness. Since she'd left the club, she was becoming more and more on edge, all culminating in full on anxiety as she stepped into her lonely cell. Adam and the guys had decided to stick around for awhile after the concert, but Maya knew that if she stayed at the club, she'd end up becoming so unhinged they'd all think she was crazy.

She'd seen Cam standing in the audience. It hadn't been the first time since his death that she'd seen him. Back during her wild phase, when she'd tried every drug under the rainbow, she'd see him regularly. Sometimes he'd be regular old Cam, sometimes he'd look otherworldly or strange. But for months after his death, she saw him regularly. Of course, when you were popping hallucinogens like M&Ms to cope with the pain, it made sense.

But she hadn't done that in years. She only smoked cigarettes now, and she hadn't been drinking that night. Yet, she'd seen him there, and it terrified her to no end. Maya had worried that taking the stage would open old wounds, and sure enough, they had.

Her eyes rimmed with dark circles, Maya pushed her hair from her face, letting her gaze fall on a bottle of tequila sitting on the table next to her. She could drink it if she wanted. Maybe it would make the nightmares go away. She could dull the pain in her heart from locking eyes with the gentle gaze of the boy she'd lost so long ago. But what about the morning?

Before Maya had a chance to make her decision, there was a knock at her apartment door. She jolted her head up, looking warily at it. She never got visitors, except for Adam. He was probably concerned about her abrupt departure from the club. But then…she didn't know what would be on the other side of the door. She figured she might just be paranoid, but hey, that's what happens when you start seeing ghosts.

Pulling herself to her feet, Maya walked over to the front door, peering through the peephole. To her slight surprise, it wasn't Adam outside, but the guitarist from Lunar Impact. After a moment of thought, she remembered his name to be Nathan. She opened the door. Nathan looked at her, concern in his expression at her haggard appearance.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked in his soft British accent. "Adam said you weren't feeling well."

"I'm fine," Maya said. She swept her hair behind her ear, sighing. From the look on his face, Nathan clearly wasn't buying it. She put a hand to her head, feeling a migraine beginning to form. "Just a headache, okay?"

"Well, if you're feeling better tomorrow, we're all going out for dinner," Nathan said. "Love it if you'd join us."

Maya just looked at him, trying to adjust her vision. The lack of sleep and the emotional upheaval must have taken its toll on her eyesight as well as everything else. When she got her focus, she studied Nathan with a careful eye. From their brief interactions backstage, she knew him to be a relaxed and easygoing guy, a lot like Adam.

"Maybe," Maya said, giving her usual noncommittal response. Despite that, Nathan smiled, nodding.

"Alright," he said. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Maya said. "Just need some aspirin. Bye Nathan."

"Bye, Maya," Nathan said. Maya gave him a weak smile, closing the door. She stood against it for a minute, closing her eyes. Even though she knew she needed it, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.

* * *

It really was a never-ending cycle of monotony, Maya's daily routine. She'd made it through another party, a have not mingling with the haves just to offer them a cocktail. Sure, she had dreams of her own, but it hadn't even been about the money or fame. It was about having the chance to tell a story with her cello, to send music into the sky.

But, that annoying rational voice said in one of its rare moments of speaking out, she'd done that the night before when she'd sung for Adam's band.

And look what came from it. A disturbing vision of her dead love, and another sleepless night she couldn't afford. It was almost as though music was cursed now, and had been ever since she'd taken to the cello right after hearing the terrible news. Every note, every lyric, seemed to summon the ghosts of the past, and she just couldn't deal with it. Maybe it was her punishment for not seeing that something was wrong all those years ago. She wondered if, from where he stood in the audience, maybe this was justice in Cam's eyes to see her tortured by the sound of music because she couldn't save him; because she didn't save him. She'd lost her friends, family, dreams, maybe the final straw was to erase any and all music from her life.

Maya threw her white button down to the floor, slipping on a black tunic over her fishnets and boots. She walked over to the mirror, putting on her makeup. She still looked exhausted, but she was not staying in that night. Whenever she was alone with her thoughts was the most dangerous. But she wouldn't be joining Lunar Impact on their night out either.

With a scoff, she set her eyeliner down and grabbed her leather jacket and keys. Anything was better than this.

Fifteen minutes later, Maya was pressing IGNORE on the third phone call from Adam as she walked down the street. She wasn't sure where she was going, as she'd just started walking when she'd left the apartment building. This wasn't the best neighborhood, especially for someone like her to be walking through alone, but she wasn't thinking about that. The most prominent thought in her mind was how badly she needed a cigarette. So she stopped, parking herself against one of the buildings nearby, closed for the night anyway, and lit a cigarette. As she took her first drag, she sighed, looking out at the street. There were a fair amount of bars nearby, and Maya watched as groups of people in various states of drunkenness walked around on both sides of the street. It was one of the things she few things she found enjoyable about being sober. It was always interesting to people-watch the after hours crowd.

"Maya?" a voice said. Maya turned to her left to see Nathan there, his hands in his pockets. Despite herself, Maya couldn't help but think how good he looked in his black jeans, dark denim jacket, and striped shirt. But his casually messy short brown hair and his caring eyes struck up too many memories she was trying to forget. "What are you doing here?"

Maya just shrugged. She took another drag from her cigarette. "Shouldn't you be at dinner?"

"I was just heading there," Nathan said. "What about you?"

"Not hungry," was Maya's answer. Nathan looked at her, as though he could see through her lie.

"Come to think of it, I'm not either," he said. "Wanna go for a walk? You can walk and smoke at the same time."

It seemed as though Maya's body was making decisions for her without consultation from her brain again as she accepted Nathan's invitation. But moments later, they were walking through the park, and she was half in, half out of their conversation, until the topic took a turn for the danger zone.

"So last night was pretty great," Nathan said. "Not your headache, but the concert. Adam was talking about maybe having you sing for us again. He told us you were pretty talented back when you were kids."

"He did what?" Maya asked.

"Adam told us you guys were in a band in high school," Nathan said. "I didn't know you could play the cello."

Maya looked down, her expression showing her surprise and her growing anger. Adam had told Nathan about their band at Degrassi and that she used to play the cello.

"I'd love to hear you play sometime," Nathan said. Maya looked up at him, and his smile faded when he saw the fire in her eyes. "Maya, what's wrong?"

"He had no right to tell you that," Maya said. "And you will never, ever hear me play the cello. No one will, I promise you that."

"I didn't mean to-."

"No, I'm not talking about this," Maya said. She turned, walking away from him.

"Maya!" Nathan called. Before he could catch up to her, Maya took off running, leaving the park behind. She was surprisingly fast for someone who typically hadn't engaged in sports or physical activity. As she ran, poisonous thoughts ran through her head. How dare Adam tell Nathan about the cello and Whisperhug? God, if he'd told him that, what else had he possibly told about? Adam was supposed to be her friend, and he'd let all of her secrets go just like that to a perfect stranger. And she meant it when she said that Nathan would never hear her play the cello. Even if she wasn't cursed, that was something she would never share with him.

Not like she'd shared with Cam.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the reads and reviews! I'll probably have this story done within a few days because I end up going on writing binges. I know Maya's really all over the place, but I think that makes sense given the situation. It'll get worked out later, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I only own my characters**

**Chapter 6**

Adam was sitting at a table in the diner, looking at his cell phone. He'd called Maya and Nathan several times, but neither had answered, and he was left to watch Spencer, the drummer, stuff French fries into his mouth to see how many he could get.

"What's that now, dude?" Adam asked. Spencer gave a muffled response that sounded something like "fifteen", and Adam just shook his head in amused exasperation. He looked towards the entrance to the diner as the door opened and Maya walked in, looking flushed. He grinned, waving. "Maya!"

Maya turned to his direction and started over to him. As she approached, her could see that her expression wasn't friendly. He frowned, ready to ask what was wrong, when suddenly, Maya reached out, her hand crashing against his cheek. The sound resonated through the diner, accompanied by the shocked gasps of patrons.

"Maybe next time you should keep your big mouth shut!" Maya said, looking at Adam's surprised expression as he put a hand to his cheek. Before he could say anything, she turned on her heel and left.

* * *

Maya was sitting, curled up on her bed again when there was a knock at the door.

"Go away!" she shouted. It was either going to be Adam or Nathan, and she didn't particularly want to talk to either. Or, if it was some stranger, she really didn't want to talk to them. The knocking persisted, and Maya groaned, getting to her feet. Only Adam would be that stubborn. She flung her door open, scowling. "I said, go away!"

"Uh, uh," Adam said. "I'm gonna have a handprint on my face tomorrow, so I get an explanation."

With that, he walked past her, into the apartment, and took off his jacket. "What the hell, Maya?"

"Get out," Maya said, pointing out the door.

"Nathan said you freaked on him, and then the whole slapping thing, what gives?" Adam said.

"Oh, you wanna know 'what gives'?" Maya said, mockingly. "How could you tell him about Whisperhug?"

"Since when is our high school band a goddamned government secret?" Adam exclaimed. "It was part of my life, and it was the band I played in before Lunar Impact."

"So fine, but why did you have to tell him about me?" Maya said. "And the cello. What the hell else did you tell?"

"This isn't about the cello or Whisperhug," Adam said. "This is about Cam, isn't it?"

"I'm warning you, Adam," Maya said.

"Maya, what are you doing?" Adam said. "When you sang at the concert, you looked so…like you. It just fit, just like it always had."

"Music is not my life anymore," Maya said. "It was then, but it isn't anymore."

"That's bull," Adam said. "What happened at the concert?"

"Adam-."

"What happened?" Adam said, his voice rising in volume. Maya just stared at him, her chest heaving. Her fragile walls were beginning to break, weakened by her welcoming music back into her heart a few days ago, and she knew it would be a matter of seconds before they collapsed. Her head began to hurt again and she sat down on her couch, putting her hands over her ears as if to block out the world. After a moment, she looked back up at Adam, his figure blurry through the tears forming in her eyes. She watched as he walked over, sitting beside her on the couch. "Maya."

"I saw Cam," Maya said after a moment's pause. "He was there, in the audience."

"What?" Adam said. "You…you saw him?"

"Yes, now I'm seeing things," Maya said in exasperation. "Don't you get it, Adam? Every time I try to let the music back in, it hurts. Because it was something Cam and I shared together. We sang together at karaoke, and he was always there for me when I played. But I wasn't there for him. I should've seen what he was going through. Maybe I could've saved him if I'd tried harder. Because I didn't save him, he never got to live out his dreams, so why the hell should I? Why should I let anyone else in to what we had together?"

With that, she felt everything she'd held in for so long break through the crack in the walls, and the tears flowed openly. Adam put an arm over her shoulders, pulling her close as she cried.

"Maya…he'd never want you to be torturing yourself like this," he said. "I would think he'd want you to be happy, even if he can't be here. And even more than that, he'd never want you to give up your dreams, especially because he didn't have the chance to live his own. I know he cared about you, Mats. He'd want the best for you."

"It's not enough," Maya said through her tears. "I should've saved him."

"But you can't go back," Adam said. "The only way is forward, and just because you're doing that doesn't mean you have to forget him entirely. You're a musician. He can live on in your songs. I really think he'd like that. To live on in something that you love."

Maya just looked at him, her eyes red rimmed from crying, and he pulled her into a hug. She rest her head against his chest as she cried six years worth of tears.

* * *

Maya opened her eyes to sunlight creeping through her bedroom window. She squinted, trying to adjust her vision. Who had opened the blinds? Her morning vision issues usually dictated that they stayed closed.

Yawning, Maya walked into her living room to see Adam twisted up in a very awkward sleep position on her couch, his mouth agape. She had to smile at the mess of limbs splayed out in front of her, and picked up her phone, snapping a picture. When it was saved, she walked over, taking a pillow from the chair and tossing it onto Adam's head. He awoke with a jolt, sliding off of the couch and earning a laugh from Maya. She put a hand over her mouth, chuckling, as Adam tried to make sense of his surroundings.

"Where am I?" he said. He looked up. "Did you hit me with a pillow?"

"No, I think you're imagining things," Maya said. "You stayed all night?"

"Guess so," Adam said with a yawn. "It was late by the time you finally fell asleep, so I crashed."

"Oh," Maya said. She remembered crying for hours the previous night, and Adam's words of comfort as he consoled her. "About that…thank you for staying."

"No problem," Adam said. "That's what friends do."

Maya smiled, walking into the kitchen. Adam got to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Friends also make breakfast for their hungry guests," he said. "Just sayin'."

"You're a piece of work," Maya said, though she was smiling. She reached into the fridge and took out a wrapped sandwich. She sniffed it before tossing it to Adam. "Eight day old meatball sub. Go nuts."

Adam looked at the sandwich for a moment before sniffing it. He shrugged, unwrapping it and taking a bite. "So, have you given any thought to the gig tonight?"

"Another gig?" Maya said.

"Come on, Mats," Adam said. "We had a great time the other night, and we definitely need a hot chick in the band."

"Well, when you put it that way," Maya said. She looked down at the charm bracelet, her single charm dangling from the silver, and smiled. "I'm in."

"Yes!" Adam said. "I can't wait to tell the guys! Which reminds me, we're supposed to meet and go over the set list."

"I do have one condition though," Maya said. "You have to let me sing one original song."

"Deal," Adam said, without hesitation. "See you tonight!"

Taking another bite from his sandwich, Adam left the apartment, letting out one final whoop. Maya just shook her head in amused exasperation. She poured herself a cup of coffee and walked into her living room. She reached into the side table drawer and pulled out a pen and pad of paper. For now, she had a song to finish.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, just my characters**

**A/N: Fair warning. I mentioned earlier that I cannot write songs to save my life. Well…for literary purposes and for canon, I did write one, but it's God awful. So, since you guys are so nice, can you pretend it isn't? I am prepared to offer cookies. And lollipops. **

**Chapter 7**

Maya stood in front of her mirror, looking at her reflection as she did her makeup. She was running a little late, at least by Adam's standards, but she'd gotten lost in her songwriting and lost track of time. Sure enough, her phone started buzzing again, and she picked it up.

"I'm getting in my car right now, Adam," she said. "Bye!"

With that, she hung up, grabbed her jacket, and ran out the door. An hour before the gig started, she would be cutting it close. But she knew she had someone watching over that night. She'd make it.

Adam was practicing a few chords at the club when Maya burst in, immediately setting in with the apologies.

"I am so sorry," she said as Adam narrowed his eyes at her. "But I come bearing a gift."

With that, she held out a folded piece of paper. Adam looked at it for a moment before taking it and unfolding it. When he read what was written, his eyes widened slightly.

"Mats…are you sure?" he said.

"More sure than ever," she said. "I think it'll work."

"Alright then," Adam said. "Let's get the guys."

* * *

"Alright, y'all thanks for coming out to Shades tonight," the club manager said as he stepped onto the stage. "Tonight we have a local band performing, and let me tell ya, they're pretty badass. Everybody, give it up for Lunar Impact!"

Adam, Maya, Nathan, and Spencer took to the stage as the club patrons cheered. Maya walked up to her microphone, taking it in her hand.

"It's really great to be here, guys!" she said to the audience. "We're gonna start off with an original song of ours that we hope you'll really like."

She looked over at Adam for a minute. He gave her a sad smile, nodding.

"This one's called 'Jersey Boy'," Maya said. The light guitar intro started and the music began as she geared up to start singing her story. Just like last time, when she'd sung for Cam, she hoped he was out there, listening. Closing her eyes, Maya began to sing:

_I see him walking past me_

_The boy in the red jersey_

_One look, and I know, he's a star_

_But the distance between us is just too far_

_He's got his team, and I've got my songs_

_If I try to talk to him, all the words come out wrong_

_But I still catch him staring at me from time to time_

_I wish that I could make him mine_

_Will he ever notice me?_

_Or is it just a fantasy?_

_All of these feelings, I can't express_

_Jersey Boy, please just say yes_

_Now we're together, Jersey Boy and I_

_When he kisses me, I feel like I could fly_

_Together, we can do anything_

_I'm there when he skates, he's there when I sing_

_Now Jersey Boy's gone home,_

_And I feel like I'm all alone_

_I can't wait until I see him again, _

_My Jersey Boy, my best friend_

_Does he really notice me?_

_Or am I living a fantasy?_

_Not sure if this is really true, _

_But, Jersey Boy, I think I love you_

Maya swayed a bit in place as Adam and Nathan took to their instruments for the musical break. She'd made it halfway through the song, but the worst was still to come. She channeled every feeling she had into gathering her strength to finish. It needed to be finished, after all these years.

_I wish I could've seen it before, _

_The mask my Jersey Boy always wore_

_Every smile, every laugh to hide_

_The pain he always felt inside_

_My Jersey Boy said goodbye,_

_But I can't even cry_

_Nothing makes sense anymore, _

_Why wasn't this enough to fight for?_

_Jersey Boy, I don't know where you are_

_Are you skating through the stars?_

_Without you, I just want to run away, _

_Jersey Boy, I wish you could stay_

_Oh, Jersey Boy, I wish you'd stayed_

Adam closed out the song as the crowd began to cheer. Maya looked out at them with tears in her eyes, but with a smile no less sincere. From his spot onstage, Adam put an arm around her, pulling her close to him. Nathan joined her on the other side, putting his arm around her as well.

"Good one, Maya," Adam said. She smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

After the concert, Maya was drinking a bottle of water on the couch backstage when Nathan and Adam walked in, talking animatedly about something.

"Mats, you killed it out there tonight," Adam said. "The manager wants to book us for regular gigs. How sick is that?"

"Very," Maya said with a smile. Adam and Nathan sat on either side of her, out of breath and excited.

"This is gonna be awesome," Adam said, looking up at the ceiling as he got lost in the possibilities. Nathan was looking at Maya, warmth in his blue eyes. Maya looked at him as well before smiling. She turned her gaze over to Adam, who was still going on about the cities they were going to play and cleared her throat. Adam looked over, and she looked at him pointedly. Adam stopped talking, seeing the looks on Maya and Nathan's faces, and realization hit. "Oh…right. I'm gonna go make sure that redhead chick didn't pepper spray Spence. See you guys in a little bit."

"Bye," Maya said. Adam got up, walking off into the club. When he was gone, Maya turned to Nathan, who was grinning.

"So your song was really amazing," he said. "I'm really sorry I kept pushing."

"No, it's okay," Maya said. "I needed it."

Nathan just nodded, understanding. An awkward silence fell over the two of them.

"You know…" Maya said. "Maybe you and I could go get a coffee sometime. If you like coffee, that is."

"I like coffee," Nathan said, his eyes showing anticipation. "That actually sounds great."

"Great," Maya said. "So it's a date then."

"It's a date," Nathan agreed. The two of them smiled at each other.

**A/N: I am so sorry for subjecting you all to "Jersey Boy". I've never been much of a poet or songwriter, but you guys were warned! LOL**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own!**

**So this is the final chapter. I apologize if it seems a bit rushed, I could feel myself losing steam, so I wanted to end it on a high note. **

**Chapter 8 FINAL CHAPTER**

Maya's apartment was different now. It had been two weeks since she'd sung "Jersey Boy" for the first time, and everything had changed. She'd decided that it was time to give the apartment a bit of her own touch. There were photographs now, some of the band, some of her family back in Canada, and some she'd just taken of different parts of LA. The photos would change when her mind would, but there was one that never would. She would never take down the picture of herself and Cam from their younger years, lost in the innocence of their sweet relationship. It wasn't out there for everyone to see, but it was one of the last things she would see in her room before going to sleep. It had helped with the ongoing grieving process.

But the most prominent change was the cello now sitting beside her couch, ready for whenever she decided to practice. Lead singer for a rock music band was good, but she had to continue working on her cello and stay true to herself as well. Maybe she had time to get in a practice session before Adam and the guys arrived. Apparently there was some important hockey game on, and Maya was the only one with a television.

A knock at the door showed her that someone, likely Adam, was early, and she set the cello back in its place, walking to the front door. Adam stood outside, his arms loaded with snacks.

"I forgot the beer," he said, somewhat apologetically.

"Of all things, you forgot beer?" Maya said, raising an eyebrow."

Adam gave her a sheepish smile and she took some of the loot from his arms. They carried the goodies into the kitchen, and Maya reached into her fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer and handing it to Adam.

"You rock, Mats," he said. With that, he took the beer into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Where are Nathan and Spencer?" she said, following him in and sitting down on the couch.

"They'll be here soon," Adam said. "Nathan's bringing pizza, by the way."

"Cool," Maya said. Adam looked over at the cello sitting there.

"Hey, your cello," he said.

"Yeah, I started playing again," Maya said.

"This mean you're quitting the band?" Adam said.

"Yeah, I totally am," Maya said.

"But…without you where are we gonna eat and watch hockey?" Adam said. Maya chuckled. "Now I'm hungry."

"I'll get the chips," Maya said. She got up, walking into the kitchen. Adam sat back on the couch, taking a drink from his beer. "I'll never understand how you boys can get so into hockey."

"It's a gift," Adam said, his eyes on the TV. Maya poured the rest of the chips into a ceramic bowl and started back to the living room. Suddenly, she frowned, stopping where she was. Adam looked over. "What's wrong?"

Maya looked at him, confusion in her expression, before gasping slightly. The bowl fell from her hands, crashing to the floor, and she collapsed.

"Maya!" Adam exclaimed, jumping up from the couch. Maya lay on the floor, her eyes closed, and Adam tried to revive her. He yanked his cell phone out of his pocket, dialing 911.

* * *

Maya let her eyes open, looking around at the bright and golden expanse surrounding her. She wasn't sure what had happened. One minute, she was in her apartment with Adam, when her head had started to hurt. The next thing she knew, she was here. Wherever here was.

But she wasn't alone. Someone was walking towards her, outlined by the distant glow that made her squint. She put a hand over her eyes and was surprised to feel her old glasses. But she hadn't worn glasses in forever. As the person got closer, she began to recognize certain aspects of who it was. The warm brown eyes, the slightly shy gait to his walk, the casually messy brown hair.

"Cam?" she said. He approached, standing in front of her looking just as he had when she'd seen him in the club. It was Cam, there was no mistaking it.

"Hi M," he said, giving her a sad smile.

"What's going on?" she said. "Where am I?"

She looked around, but couldn't see anything beyond Cam or the glow. He reached out, gently pushing her hair behind her ear, and looked into her eyes. She realized that she felt different as well. Her hair was shorter, as it had been when she was…

Fifteen

Maya looked up at Cam again, realization sinking in. She wasn't twenty-one anymore. She was fifteen again. But this wasn't a memory or a dream.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" she whispered. Looking truly sorry, Cam nodded, taking her hands in his. Maya felt her eyes well up with tears. She knew what it was. All of those headaches…they weren't the stress of an overworked and grieving mind. They were warning signs of her own time running out. She began to cry softly, and Cam pulled her into his arms, hugging her closely. She just sunk into his embrace, her love for him flowing through her.

"I'm here, M," he said. "I'll be with you through this."

"I love you," Maya said softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Cam said. He stroked her hair. "Everything's gonna be okay now. I promise."

Maya sniffled, closing her eyes. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt safe, right in Cam's arms where she belonged. A warm glow surrounded them as they faded into the heavens.

* * *

Adam stepped onto the beach, looking out at the ocean with a heavy heart. Two weeks had passed since they'd lay Maya Matlin to rest after a sudden ruptured aneurysm had claimed her life. Her parents had opted for cremation, and he'd flown home to Canada for the service. It had taken some convincing, but he'd gotten them to concede to spreading the ashes. Half of her was in Canada, where friends and family could pay their respects, but the other half…that had to be in the place she called home. And Adam knew just where to release her.

He found a secluded part of the beach, a feat not so easy in California, and stood in the sand, looking out at the horizon. If he looked closely enough, he could almost see Maya, undoubtedly walking with Cam along the golden lines of the sun. Even if Maya had been taken from them too soon, it was a comforting thought to know that Cam was taking care of her.

"Hey Torres," a voice said. Adam turned to see Nathan and Spencer walk up, looking a little solemn.

"Hey," he said. Nathan gave him a sad nod. Nathan was still working through his grief, but Adam wasn't worried. He knew his friend would be okay, just like he knew Maya was okay on the other side. The guys had insisted on being there for their own version of Maya's funeral.

"Ready?" Adam said as Nathan and Spencer stood on either side of him.

"As ever," Spencer said. Adam took a few steps forward, uncapping the urn. He turned it on its side, gently shaking out the contents into the wind. The three guys watched as the ashes floated up into the air, over the ocean, and towards the horizon.

"Goodbye Maya," Adam said softly. He looked up at the sky once more, smiling at his friends up there. Just as Maya had let Cam live on in her song, Adam would let them both live on in his.

It was what she'd want, after all.

END: So yeah, I hope you guys didn't see that ending coming! Kinda sappy, I know, but I really wanted to write one where Maya and Cam are back together in the end.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


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